I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
