At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
