I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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