im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
