Well douche your snatch and let's go!
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
