you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
