id be glad to
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
