Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
