He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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