we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
