People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
