Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
