FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize