you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
