Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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