She said her name was "party"
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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