You're so nebulous sometimes
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
We left the knife in your bed.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
