It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
