You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
