Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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