I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
There r osticjed everywhere
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
