He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
