To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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