You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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