Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
