Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
