Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
