when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
