i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
