I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
