I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
