I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
