She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
