Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
