how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
