i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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