Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Randomize
