just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
