He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
