I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize