All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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