Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
