remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
