Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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