dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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