I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
