My first STD was from a foam party
You can't special order awesome
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He? As in you personified your dick?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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