actually, I'm a sock model
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
