love makes seman taste better
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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