Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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