I'm lost and stupid without you.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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