does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
